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Tantric Sexuality (M1 extended remix)
That day, I had prayed to Muktananda to help me understand my true path - whether I was meant to have children or become a Swami. Now I am 50 years old and ready to face and share the truth of my experience with Muktananda. I was both thrilled and confused - I didn't know what to think. The following night again he appeared and motioned me to come. This has been the healing process, but I know that there are many others that are younger than I who have not been able to look at what happened to them. He said "Good yoni. Shortly after I did that, an old friend that I did seva with, now Gurumayi's assistant, called me at my home in Atlanta. Muktananda appeared in the lobby and pulled me behind a long curtain in front of his house door. When he got me back there, he began to speak to me, mostly Hindi with some English short phrases, "Chota, chota" which means something like "little ones", as he pointed to my stomach. The holes allowed Muktananda to watch people without them knowing. Because of fear, no one before has put a name to their story of sexual abuse by Swami Muktananda. I was clearly asking for help. This understanding was heightened through my therapy with a gifted professional who is profoundly spiritual both in practice and training. I am immensely grateful for the clarity that I have finally received, after so many years of denial, confusion and heartache. At that moment, I clearly understood that Baba had sexually abused me.
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